Pecanless pecan pie

The challenge: To find or create the best-tasting pecanless pecan pie recipe for a friend, who revealed that he liked the "goo" of pecan pie, but didn't like pecans.

Basics of pecan pie: Pecan pie is a type of custard pie made mostly with corn syrup, pecans, and most of the other typical custard pie ingredients (eggs, vanilla, butter). Some people (including me) prefer to use brown sugar and a little water instead of the corn syrup; if you use white sugar, a dab of molasses can give it the brown sugar flavor.

Experimentation: I tried out several variations, including one that replaced the pecans with oatmeal, before I finally settled on this recipe. I actually didn't like it at first, but after it had set for a day, it was exactly right.

Let me FIRST give you my favorite pecan pie recipe:
3 eggs
2 cups brown sugar mixed with 1/4 cup water
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon vanilla
tiniest little dash of nutmeg
1/3 cup butter, melted
1 cup pecans, broken or halved (whatever you've got)
1 pie crust

Preheat oven to 375ºF. Mix everything but the nuts (and pie crust) together until it's smooth; stir in the nuts; pour into pie shell; bake for 45 minutes. Allow to cool for at least twenty minutes before serving.

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NOW! For the pecanless version!

1/3 cup butter, softened
1 3/4 cup brown sugar
3 tablespoons heavy cream
3 eggs, well-beaten
1/8 teaspoon nutmeg (do NOT add more; it will overpower the pie even in small quantities!)
1 pie crust

Pre-heat oven to 350ºF. Cream together the sugar and butter, then blend in the eggs, cream, and nutmeg. Beat this mixture until it's well-blended and slightly fluffed (this will take about 45 seconds with a silicone spatula). Pour into the pie crust and bake for 55 minutes. At the 40 minute mark, check the pie and cover the crust with foil or a pie guard if it seems pretty dark.

Allow the pie to cool for a minimum of an hour. Baking it the day before it is to be eaten is ideal; it can take a while to set. If you prefer it to be very liquidy, though, pull it out of the oven at 45 minutes and eat it the same day. It depends on your preference!

Illinois Pie

I have renamed my pie due to the wackos who have made their money by suing people who use the original name. I'd never have heard of them if they hadn't sent me a nastygram, and they've ensured that I won't be purchasing their products (or recommending them) ever. I also noted that their "trademarked" pie contains walnuts, which kind of defeats the purpose of the whole southern theme. Therefore, I have named MY recipe after the state in which I grew up, because the pecan's scientific name is Carya illinoinensis. :)

A word of warning: If you try to leave out the bourbon, the recipe just won't work properly; the ingredients do not stratify into the layers like they should.

You need:
1 pie shell (there is no top crust)*
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup flour
1 stick butter, melted
1 tsp vanilla
2 tablespoons bourbon
6 oz semisweet chocolate chips (half a bag, generally)
1 cup chopped pecans

Preheat oven to 350ºF.

Mix all but the pie crust together (this is easier if you stir in the pecans and chocolate chips last) and pour the mixture into the crust. Bake for 45 minutes. Allow the pie to cool for about 10 minutes before serving. Goes great with vanilla ice cream.

*About the Lady's pie crust issues: There are some things in this world that are harder for some people than others. Pie crust is an ancient nemesis of mine, and I have spent many an afternoon weeping because of it. No, don't offer to teach me. I've had at least four people try and fail. I know my limitations, and using a pre-made crust saves me the frustration as well as the time and cleanup of making it from scratch. For this particular recipe, I use a frozen crust that comes in the pie pan. Check ingredients carefully! Generic or store brands often use animal fat or lard. Non-generics generally use vegetable shortening, and the difference in price is minimal. If you are good at making pie crust, of course, have at it! :)